When I started this blog, I promised myself that I was going to avoid the subject of breastfeeding but Chops has recently weaned and it seems like a big step in his development so I thought I'd record the story.
Chops was always a very intense nursling. From birth he loved his milk and was probably at the breast for 20 hours out of 24 when he was very small. Tired = boob. Waking up = boob. Sleeping = boob. Too hot, too cold, bored, overstimulated, hurt, just because I sat down. He was an enthusiastic breastfeeder! He was a very attached baby and did not settle well for anyone else. That made things difficult at times but did also mean many hours sat on the sofa with a sleeping baby.
Over the past four years he has nursed in cafes, restaurants, pubs, cinemas, museums, on planes, trains, boats, on the beach, in the ocean, at the top of a mountain, walking around Disneyworld, even on my wedding day. It’s been an amazing journey and I have so many brilliant memories of this time to look back on. In addition to those memories it's also brought me some great friends through my Bosom Buddies peer support training and our local La Leche League meetings. Breastfeeding really did change my parenting journey in every way. Without it I probably wouldn't have discovered co-sleeping, slings, cloth nappies, baby led weaning, home education. All these things impacted greatly on my life and continue to do so. If anyone had told me four years ago that we would only just be weaning and that I would also have coslept/not used a pushchair/washed dirty nappies/not send him to school I would have scoffed - but by following his lead and finding out more about attachment/natural parenting, it's made these decisions quite easy for me.
I have been fortunate that I have never had a bad word said about it. There have been times that people have been surprised that he was still nursing or asked when we were going to stop but never in a negative way really. The last time I nursed him in public was when he was 3 and a half in soft play as he had hurt himself. Since then he’s preferred to keep it at home.
It hasn’t all been easy. At around 18 months we had a bit of a blip as he still didn’t sleep at all without a nipple in his mouth. I was working at this point and really struggling with the lack of sleep so we took the decision to night-wean him. We did it as gently as possible and he was still in bed with us and comforted whenever he needed – just without the milk. He adapted to this without too much fuss and after a couple of nights we were getting some sleep at last. The only other time I’ve struggled with nursing him was in the early days of my pregnancy as my nipples were extremely painful. We had to limit the amount of time he spent breastfeeding but he still wasn’t deterred and was back to usual once baby arrived. Tandem nursing really has been surprisingly easy for us. The boys adore each-other and are really sensitive to each-other’s feelings. It’s lovely for me to watch.
Over the past year or so Chops has become more and more independent. He gave up napping so no longer needed that mid-day breastfeed. We then talked about dropping his morning breastfeed first which we did. And then finally he was only nursing to sleep at night.
The past few weeks we have been offering him the choice of me taking him to bed and giving him milk or him having longer to stay up and play with Daddy then going to bed without. To begin with he was choosing mostly milk but as the weeks have gone on he’s asked less and less for it and has preferred to play Star Wars and then lie with Daddy to go to sleep. It’s been really gradual. The past two weeks if he’s asked for milk he’s been gently told no and accepted that so I think the time is right for all of us.
So I can’t say that he ‘self weaned’ as there has been prompting from us for him to stop. But I am happy that it has been gentle for him and for me. Watching him grow and flourish and thrive on breastmilk has been the proudest time of my life. After 4 years and 1 month, we’re moving onto the next chapter...
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